Retrospective Delayed.

Words are often meant to be the path to clarity and comprehension.

Thoughts and sentiments are the vehicles of expression.

What's mostly interrupts this - - - doubt.

Higher reasoning mammals given the ability to decide the "why's" and "how's" of situations often brings us to the precipice of doubt and second guessing. This is more than just instinctual decisiveness where most would say "I felt like I should go left instead of right" as opposed to reasoning their way through the numerous outcomes of where their decisions would bring them.

I speak of that sliver of space between the aforementioned where the slight hesitation, if magnified, could reveal more of the human psyche than a mere dice roll or palm reading.

For most, the act of thinking and processing of a decision or a reflection of decisions, is much more than consequential thinking. This is more directed toward affected thinking or vibrative emotion to a given idea, thought or situation. Simply, if a decision, not based or preceded by emotion is made - this is a solid and whole decision. However, if this has been given a moment of chance in thought, then doubt expands in the space given and creates permanency, solidifies, roots and remains. Combating the opportunity is to allow the free will and spirit of thought, to be strong and true to what it feels and not weaken when given an unclear path.


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This philosophical moment was brought to you by my philosophy class, the letter M and pink lemonade.

Scrabble Anonymous? I kid, no really.

I've always been a true fan of board games and computer games.

It wasn't until I upgraded my cellphone with a Droid and with an invitation from a friend to play that I had walked into the Devil's Playground and haven't left since.

It's been over a month and I play every day. I'm always checking to see if it's my turn and what words pop out of my head to use. I've been successful most of the time, but I have lost. The times I have, I've been handed the seat of my pants with a boot marking on it. Yes, it was THAT bad. But resiliency is fostered by determination and the incessant need to go back for more. So I keep clicking "play with random opponent" because I dare not let other friends know that I play as much as I do. Plus, not many people care anymore if you can spell.....since the birth of spell check I mean.

Ode to a marshmallow

Tis true they say,
the puff'd white friend,
cometh best when the days grow long.

It be in three sizes,
wee, big and grand,
all of which taste best with cocoa.

The secret of this friend,
quiet, smooshy and light,
when dropped in the steaming hot drink...

it sinks, it melts, its frothy gooey-like layers my drink and disguises the cocoa below.

My stirring spoon creates wispy cumulonimbus marshy clouds in my mug as my fingertips get warmed to the touch.

I stop and question, "Why then do I recall only receiving like 5 mini marshmallows in my mug when I was a kid? Was there a shortage?"

It is clear, that as an adult I am now making up for all those weakened cups of cocoa that went without.

Happy Sipping.......

When is TOO much too much?

Just today I experienced first hand the cliche "Whoa! What IS that smell!?"

I was toting around my shopping cart at a nearby grocery store, minding my own business, just rounding the corner of the dairy section when as I place a yogurt in the cart I hit the extended arms of the enveloping cloud of perfume! I had no chance. No idea where it was coming from to even change course or go in for a final lengthy breath. If there was a hidden camera you would have seen something like feverishly blinking eyes and a stunned puckering face (think: having a sour drink).

As I regain my balance, I happen to look up and see the two figures within my range of personal shopping space (you all know EXACTLY what I mean by this) and it turns out to be a conversation of two female workers. These two workers have met in the middle of the bread and dairy section and proceed to have a full on, lengthy conversation.

Fight or flight?
What do you think I did? Just like any cartoon character in a revolving door, or a precocious youngster who doesn't like the taste of lima beans....I made a face and reversed (backed up) my cart and got the heck outta there. Moments later, after successfully achieving new oxygen into the bloodstream, I had to think about the eternal question - did either of them know? Was it just one of them or both?

This began to make me think about men's cologne and older women. Younger girls experimenting with mom's stash and men primping to hit a bar with friends. Many suffer from this misappropriation of scent (sense?).

Hopefully, I'd like to think that there are those that would seek help and finding a cure to this otherwise alienating deficiency. This article I found from Glamour Envy should answer most questions and help those in the most need! They describe "Old Lady Perfume" as their reality check and I feel that there are many more out there who have felt these effects as well. Take a glance and see what other ideas they have to say about how you can prevent yourself from being the aforementioned guilty parties.

Public Service Announcement Over.

The Neverending Paragraph

As many before me have said, Graduate school is tough. Tough on the mind. Tough on the soul. Tough on your life. Tough on your.... well you get the dreariness of it all. Well right now, I'm in the "if I have to conjoin two more phrases in prose text with a theme and substantiated proofs I may just die" phase, because even after 8 days I still have 3 papers remaining before the end of the week.

But that's not what's really important now is it? Yes, it does explain why I haven't written about the most interesting things that I have come across (all of which I have conveniently bookmarked so I can comment [er, trash] in my own leisure at a later date) but the fact that interestingly enough, I have had a few pangs of nostalgia hit me in the past few days.

Not quite sure how I have been having these moments, or lapses in mental judgment, but I have. Hey I am human after all.

Quite honestly though, I'll have to think on that and see where it's coming from.

Is it because another birthday is nearing?

Is it because I'm feeling emotionally unattached or looking to be attached? (Yes, I got this straight from a men's health magazine. I'd never admit that on my own.)

Is it because I think of the many roads and paths that I have taken and wonder, hey I could be doing this now or I could be with him/her right now!

Or maybe it's because I'm beginning to think about the openness of the world again and how at any moment I can choose to make a left instead of a right and not get on the elevator and go for a walk instead.....

In part I think it just means, that somehow, I am finding myself again. The me that I remember from college. The one who was just enjoying the moment and didn't care.

Let's see if the next few choices I make are in line with who that person was. We shall see....
But for now it's goodbye to the readers of few, the prose of many, the themes for words that are yet to be written....

Inhale....hold....Exhale....Release!

After feeling ill for such a while (okay like 9 days) and then realizing the fantastic world was flying by I had made notes of all the randomness and idiotic (and idiosyncrasies) that had overtaken the world by storm during those days. Unfortunately, those thoughts were written on tissues and tossed them after during a bout of massive disinfection of my room and other areas.

Shame really. I had some zingers.

Nonetheless, I'm SURE these lunacies will come back and I'll grab them and jot them down. Because really, the world is a massive ball of insight and luminous individuals...some of which, are just pure crazy and THAT is what makes everything regain balance! LOL

Since the illness that plagued everything including my appetite, I have been juggling school, life, the world, self-discovery, and dealing with ppl all at the same time. And unfortunately no solid conclusion has been made as of yet, but I hope that before my time on this planet comes to an end........something will become definitive. Right? Let's hope.

Laid up

Have been ill with the flu for the past week.....BUT....have come out on the other side. There's many things to post and many things to reflect about. Can't wait for a few minutes to finish writing them. Now that I'm up to it, I must tackle some laundry, dishes and homework!